CONFRONTING THE ILLUSIONS OF DATING WITH THE FOUR OF CUPS

Ever wondered why we ignore our intuition in situationships? Join me, Alexandra, as I untangle the deep symbolism of the Four of Cups through my own emotional journey with a penpal. This episode provides an intimate glimpse into my recent fallout with a Dutch guy, illustrating the illusions and truths of online relationships. While reflecting on how this card mirrors ignored intuition, I reveal the hidden lessons behind those three tempting cups of lies and the fourth cup of unheeded wisdom.

Navigating through my raw emotions and struggles to move on, I candidly share my process of understanding and embodying the Four of Cups. Through personal stories, like battling the urge to confront painful memories or finding solace in yoga, I explore the profound meanings of this card. Tune in to gain insights into how the Four of Cups can guide emotional growth and sharpen your intuition, especially in the tangled web of modern dating.

For visual reference I used the 4 of Cups from the Tempest Tarot Deck, The Original RWS Tarot and Jack-o-Lantern Tarot.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to another episode of Intimate Tarot. I'm your host, alexandra, and today we are going to talk about the Four of Cups. The story of this card is so meta it's absurd. Let's start from the beginning and follow my train of thoughts, because this is surprisingly a complicated story. Few weeks ago I had a fallout with my Dutch guy. He's the online penpal I mentioned already in the Devil and in the Sun episode. In penpal I mentioned already in the devil and in the sun episode we have been texting every day for three months. Then, with Saturn stationing retrograde in Pisces, which is my 11 hours of friendship, something changed, literally the illusion of the friendship went off and I stopped talking to him. He asked me about it and I said this and that happened and I think our friendship is not real. I addressed this situation in the sun episode, by the way, and he said fine, and followed me and it was over, just like that.

Speaker 1: 0:47

As I was processing my emotions by writing in my journal, I basically channeled the four of cups episode, because this is the card of situationship. Think about it. Imagine the card from any tarot deck you want, because they all propose the same concept. You have three cups in front and a fourth offered from a blind spot, which is completely ignored Now in terms of online dating. This card is showing three cups full of lies that are constantly presented to you we could call them love bombing and one containing your intuition, which is perpetually discounted by you. More on that. On the two of sorts episode. So, because this is the card of Swords episode, so because this is the card of situationships and I just ended mine with the Dutch guy and fun fact, he has a natal moon in Cancer, which is the decan of the Four of Cups I thought perfect, I'm going to bring this story to the podcast to explain the card.

Speaker 1: 1:39

But days pass, I'm trying to forget about him. I delete all his pictures from my phone and distract myself with work and I publish instead the sun episode and the two of sorts. But this morning I'm forcing myself to come down to the booth and record the four of cups because I have already enough written material to outline the episode. So I need to tackle this story, but I can't convince myself to do it. I refuse to look at the notes. I realize it's still too painful for me to accept that this ended so easily like it was nothing, and I'm not ready to revisit the memories, so I think, fine, I can find another example. I had experienced at least three other situationships. Let me talk about this guy I met on Hinge, who doesn't want to date me yet still texts me to this day. It has been nine months. So as I'm writing down my thoughts, I'm like, nope, I can't do this either. And I have a day now I'm confused, I don't know what's going on with me.

Speaker 1: 2:37

This was supposed to be an easy episode. I even had a clear image in my head of the card I wanted to use, which was the four of cups from the Tempest tarot deck. There you have a skull with three cups in front and one sitting at the top of the crane on a smoke cloud. This is a visual representation of me when I am dead set on an idea, the idea being that fourth cup in my head full of the imaginary version of the guy I'm texting with that most likely I made up based on his birth chart and completely ignoring the three cups full of his actual actions and words that never match my expectations. Anyway, for some reason, this recording morning is not going as I wished. So I am packing my stuff. I'm back home, have a cup of tea and then go to yoga, as I am there practicing unfortunately not very mindfully because I'm still thinking about the episode I realize I am the four of cups from the Rider Waite Smith Tarot, which is the one card I didn't want to bring to the conversation because I don't like it.

Speaker 1: 3:36

I never understood why the guy looks so mad. This is a moon in cancer card. Feminine energy is here. Why does he look so angry? But I am embodying that frustrated Four of Cups now, and exactly because of the Four of Cups itself and also the moodiness and intuition of the Moon in Cancer how meta. It is so funny to think that to arrive to this point of recording now, I had to experience all the waves of emotions and intuitions that you would. It could have not been in any other way, but in the end, what is important to remember here is that when this card appears in a reading, you need to ask yourself what is it that I'm refusing to acknowledge?

Speaker 1: 4:22

I am in this situation because I couldn't acknowledge my feelings about the fallout with the Dutch guy and after that I didn't want to admit the embarrassment of talking about another silly guy. I have been living through the Four of Cups all day. Because I didn't want to confess once again my bad judgment in men, because I have already made myself vulnerable talking about my failed marriage in the Lovers, my obsession with Simon in the Devil, my neediness in the Two of Swords. I closed my eyes in front of those three episodes I published already and I refused to give you a fourth of the same. I am now the four of cups from the Jack-o'-lantern tarot. Here the man is sleeping in front of these three cups and dreaming of a fourth. This is me wishing this episode would have been different. I like how I normally structure the episodes, with an initial overview of the card, then my storytelling and in conclusion, we talk about the questions you need to ask yourself when the card appears in a reading. But today I had to go with the flow.

Speaker 1: 5:19

Another water reference. This card is truly one of a kind, but I hope I gave you a good idea of what this card could mean. Definitely a different point of view. I see this card often interpreted as the avoidant, which is an attachment style and brings it back to my initial idea of see this card through the lens of online dating. I'll give you one more tip to remember the meaning, always think where the card sits.

Speaker 1: 5:42

The four of cups comes after the three of cups. You made friends there or created any sort of bond with lovers, teammates, family members, whoever and it comes before the five of cups. You lost what you created in the three. That's why there are three cups on the ground in the illustration of this card. Thus, in the four of cups, you keep your three cups close to you, because the fourth cup offered, the one that in every tarot deck is depicted as overlooked, is a foreshadowing cup. It's the cup of truth that you don't want to drink from, otherwise your eyes will be opened and you will have to face the reality and grieve.

Speaker 1: 6:16

And in the majority of tarot decks, the person in the four of cups is not happy. And I believe this because, even if the fourth cup, with your intuition, is disregarded, it is still there Deep down. We already know the truth. We know that the relationships we are living in are not fulfilling, but we stay because somehow, in some way, they are still beneficial to us. The hermetic title of this card is Lord of Blended Pleasure. To bring it back to my original idea, situationships are a blended pleasure. They are bittersweet, they give us company and entertainment, but they are never fully real or emotionally satisfying. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Please share and subscribe to the podcast. I'll catch you on the next one. Ciao for now.