REBIRTH THROUGH THE DEATH CARD

How do we navigate the profound cycles of endings and beginnings in our lives? This episode of Intimate Tarot explores the transformative essence of The Death card in the Tarot deck and its deep connection with Scorpio's emotional landscape. Join me, Alexandra, as I share my personal journey through metaphorical death and rebirth, marked by the evolution of my business from Bath by Candlelight to Tarot by Candlelight. I reflect on my decision to rebrand, the impact of my divorce, and my unexpected return to candle making in London, despite my effort to leave that chapter behind.

My story is a poignant reminder of how our past can resurface in ways that bring balance and happiness, even when we least expect it. Discover how the Death card teaches us about the inevitability of change and the beauty of transformation as I recount my move back to London, the rekindling of my passion for beeswax candles, and the intricate dance between letting go and embracing new beginnings. This episode offers a raw and honest look at the cycles of life, urging us to find harmony and joy in the unexpected twists of our journeys.

The Tarot decks used in this episode are: The Original RWS Tarot, The Good Karma Tarot, The Dark Mansion Tarot.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to another episode of Intimate Tarot. I'm your host, alexandra, and today we are going to talk about death. The death card is astrologically associated with Scorpio, a water sign. Therefore, we are in the realm of emotions here, and that's the first indication that this card refers to a metaphorical death, not a physical one. I want to talk about death today, not only because the last episode was the Empress, thus birth, and it makes sense to mirror it with death, but also because my two stories of birth and death are actually linked. I shared in the Empress how I gave birth to my business baby, buff, by Candlelight in 2017, as a consequence of me being pregnant and refusing to use toxic paraffin candles and buff bombs full of synthetic colorants because I wanted to live in the safest environment possible for myself and my unborn child. Today, I will tell you how I killed Buff by Candlelight in 2024.

Speaker 1: 0:51

I am looking at death from the original Rider-Waite-Smitharo. Here, a skeleton is dressed in black solid armor and rides a white horse. It's in motion and we understand it's coming to claim the lives of everyone depicted in the image Adults, children, even the Pope. Gender, age, social status are irrelevant in the eyes of death, there is no distinction nor mercy. Death is definitive. There's no turning back. Therefore, it is extremely important, when this card appears in the reading, to ask yourself am I ready to close this chapter? Will I feel okay with this not ever coming back into my life? Because I felt okay with the decision of changing my brand name from Buff by Candlelight to Tarot by Candlelight back in 2022. When I started the process of rebranding, I felt like, after the spiritual awakening, I needed to explore tarot and astrology more and I wanted to sell readings as a service next to the physical product of candles. That felt logical, sadly didn't last long, because at the end of 2022, I asked my husband for divorce and told him I wanted to move back to London to start a new life this is talked in the Lovers and the Chariot episodes, by the way and I felt I needed to do something drastic to differentiate my old life from the new one I was about to start. So I deleted from my Instagram profile all the pictures related to my six years in Krakow All of them, including those of Biwak's candles, which were the majority, because candle making was the only thing I was doing. Back in Poland, I must have had hundreds of pictures of my creations and of my son playing with raw B-Wax blocks. It was my life and I ended it. I didn't want to have that memory. I wanted that chapter to die. I also completely changed my website. I now work under tarokialexandracom and there is no trace of candles there.

Speaker 1: 2:42

London was supposed to be the place for my rebirth and I wanted a new identity there. I wanted to be the place for my rebirth and I wanted a new identity there. I wanted to be recognized as a tarot reader. I didn't care much about being known as a candle maker, but life has a strange sense of humor, because the first job I found once I moved to London was actually for a brand who hand makes candles, and I got that job because I had Bath by Candlelight in my CV and knowing candle making gave me the advantage. Now the brand I was working for makes scented paraffin candles and perhaps because of that I felt the need to balance. And on weekends I started making Beewax candles again. I showed them to my colleagues and posted a few pictures on Instagram.

Speaker 1: 3:21

In a short amount of time I began to receive requests for my products. I sold a few birthday candles and I got asked for more. It all felt very surreal. I thought that side of me was dead. I wanted to be a tarot reader now. I did not plan to sell candles again, but I couldn't deny that it made me happy to share my knowledge on negative yawns and beekeeping and work with bee wax. I tried for a second to revive Buff by Candlelight from the dead.

Speaker 1: 3:46

But that brand is linked to a particular moment in time. There are feelings attached to it. It's embedded with my need for pregnancy-safe products and also it reminds me of my Polish days. It's nostalgic and it belongs to the past. I wanted to create bewak scandals that match my energy. Now I have in front of me the death card from the Good Karma Tarot. Here we see a woman's face split in two. One side is a skull and the other is a pretty face with long red hair, and it represents transformation From the ashes of Bath by Candlelight.

Speaker 1: 4:20

I mould spiritual purposes only. Under this brand name I sell candles shaped as an owl, a nocturnal creature who has been long associated with wisdom and witchcraft. The owl is so Saturnian to me, it inspires me keywords like night yin energy, divine, feminine ancestors, spiritual guidance, protection, intuition, magic. I have recently started an Instagram and Facebook account to promote my house candles and to let people know that I have been doing candles for over seven years. I know what I'm doing and I can be trusted because they don't know.

Speaker 1: 4:53

I deleted every trace of me ever making any candle. That's why I was saying at the beginning make sure you are ready to close that chapter, because when the death card appears means the end is near, and you need to be prepared for it, because there's no turning point. I will never have all my pictures back to prove my competence and skills. I have to start from the beginning now to rebuild my reputation as a candle maker, and so I regret that decision, because those hundreds of pictures were a testimony of what I am able to do, and it may have helped me in selling more candles I will never know.

Speaker 1: 5:26

So I look at death from the dark mansion tarot, where a skeleton dressed in purple suit is sitting on a tomb waiting, and it reminds me that sometimes it's better to wait and take the time to think twice before taking an impulsive decision like deleting data or completely change a business name, because if something is supposed to end, it will. There is no need to rush it. Death is coming for everyone anyway, so why help it come sooner? Let death wait. I let my identity as a candle maker die because I attached it to my Polish life. But I was mistaken. I was ready to let my marriage die, not my passion for candles. I made an error in judgment and let my emotions obscure my thoughts. Emotionally, I was ready to move on, but I didn't think it logically that it might have served me to show that in six years I did create something. I did have a candle business that was thriving before I killed it. I got the job that time because I went to the interview with my stunning Christmas candles and I talked about how I made them, because if they would have looked at my social media they would have thought I was lying on my curriculum.

Speaker 1: 6:34

In conclusion, when this card appears in the reading, ask yourself what am I leaving behind? Am I okay with this part of me dying? What would happen if I wait a bit longer before letting this go? I think it's interesting that the card before death is the hanged man. What if I stayed a bit longer in that waiting space of the hanged man before killing Buff by candlelight? I wonder if it would have been easier for me to sell candles here in England. At the same time, if it wasn't for its death, I would have never started Spiritual Purposes Only, which brings me so much joy, as I keep the same core value of working with local beekeepers and offering the best quality candles I can make. And in addition, I am molding them in the shape of my favorite spirit animal guide and I apply two grains of black peppers in the owl's eyes for grounding and protection.

Speaker 1: 7:27

My owl's bee wax candles are so special, magical and unique. They are fused with my love and appreciation for the bees and those who support beekeeping, and for you buying from me. I love what I'm doing with spiritual purposes only and I know there's more to come with it. I have a few ideas and you know I will share it with you because I share everything here. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Please share and subscribe to the podcast. I'll catch you on the next one. Ciao, for now.